Changing Old Patterns by Attending to Their Opposites: Curing Limerence

Curing limerence can be challenging, but introducing indifference into your mindset can help gradually reduce its intensity. Here are some steps to cultivate indifference and move past limerence:

  1. Accept and acknowledge your feelings: Recognize that you are experiencing limerence and accept that it’s a normal human emotion. Don’t be too hard on yourself for having these feelings.
  2. Understand the reality: Try to see the person you’re infatuated with as a real, flawed human being rather than putting them on a pedestal. Remind yourself of their imperfections and the fact that nobody is perfect.
  3. Limit contact and exposure: Minimize interactions with the person you’re infatuated with to reduce the reinforcement of your feelings. Avoid stalking them on social media or seeking out information about them.
  4. Focus on self-improvement: Shift your focus inward and work on personal growth. Engage in activities that fulfill you and pursue hobbies or interests that make you happy.
  5. Distract yourself: Keep yourself busy with tasks and activities that occupy your mind. Surround yourself with friends and family who can provide support and help take your mind off the infatuation.
  6. Set boundaries: If you’re in regular contact with the person, establish boundaries to protect yourself emotionally. Avoid situations that may trigger or intensify your limerence.
  7. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques can help you become more aware of your emotions and thought patterns. This awareness can assist in distancing yourself from the overwhelming feelings of limerence.
  8. Reframe your thoughts: Challenge the thoughts that fuel your limerence. Whenever you find yourself idealizing the person or fantasizing about a romantic future, consciously replace those thoughts with more realistic perspectives.
  9. Consider professional help: If your limerence is causing significant distress or interfering with your daily life, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor. They can provide support and help you navigate through your emotions.
  10. Time and distance: Limerence tends to fade over time, especially if you distance yourself from the person. Embrace patience and understand that healing takes time.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey to healing is unique, and the process may take time and effort. Cultivating indifference doesn’t mean suppressing emotions; it’s about gaining control over them and redirecting your focus towards self-growth and a healthier emotional state.

More Resources:

How to get over infatuation

The neuroscience of limerence

“Limerence” on Wikipedia

Love and Limerence The Experience of Being in Love